Sacrifice

This week marks a big week for me: the training will be upped to 20 miles this Saturday, 40 day mark to the BIG day along with the start of lent. We (my fellow runners who are currently training, raising money and awareness for Autism and who I will be joining at London) received a very inspirational email from our coordinator, she talked about lent which leads to sacrifice. It really got me thinking this week.

It brought me back to the Houston Half Marathon I ran in January; the post that kept getting put aside but perfect timing to share now. I started the race completely not ready for it. We were in our 5th week of the move just past the holidays etc etc... I was behind on my training, it was raining, and humid. At the start of the race I had all those horrible defeating voices we all get... mine were something like first of all this is really gonna stink, you aren't physically prepared nor mentally, how will you ever fit in the training for London, you are going to let everyone down including yourself. That was the first mile talk... it was going to be a very long race at that rate. The truth was I wan't prepared mentally or physically, long days of moving, emotional ups and downs, no rest, not enough training.

But then at about mile 3 PEOPLE, people everywhere. All along the sides of the streets with signs and music, cheering. I heard a "GO MICHELLE" and I looked and thought who the heck is that. Then another person said it, I realized my name is on my bib... random people getting up at 5 am to go cheer on other people running in a race in the rain.... how awesome is that. A little background-every race I have done has been pretty small with very little turn out for cheering or in Amsterdam where I couldn't understand a thing anyone was saying. It hit me at about mile 4... I AM HOME. I have gone full circle; after 5 years of being away I am now running in a huge race at HOME, the personal battles, the hard and good times through everything. I can't give that feeling justice in words (mostly because writing is not one of my gifts) accept that I had this overwhelming sense of peace that we were HOME we were exactly where we were suppose to be. I was exactly where I was suppose to be mentally and physically.

The cheers got louder and the GO MICHELLE'S got more frequent I got more and more emotional. I realised in that moment that I better live this up... I was more than ready for this race, I wasn't going to set any records for myself but I was going to enjoy it. I took my headphones off, I listened, I became aware, I gave high five's, I said thank you to those that cheered for me or gave me water, I watched all of us running together and even though I didn't know a single person cheering for me (except one running buddy who after arriving in Houston the night before from Scotland got up at 6 am to come cheer us on-she got a big high five) or who was running beside me I felt part of that group. I thought about the time each person gave to be there, to cheer, run, help, pass out water the list goes on, it just amazed me.

As I decided to really be present in this race and soak it up, all of it and forget about my time and ability. In those moments I thought about why I was running London and the journey towards running and healing. Those who know me well know my faith and what I stand for but also that I am quiet about it (unless you get me on a long run) but during that race it was never more clear that I could want, push, plan, try, fight screaming for it but there is nothing better then being in His perfect timing. I got it...the path was there and it has changed me. Prayed a lot during the race for Amanda and where this next journey would take me.

This week I have thought a lot about sacrifice. The 6 days a week 5 am wake up to fit in runs & workouts, the long Saturday runs, eating this instead of that because I want to feel good on these runs, fitting in everything else in between and in the end I am brought back to the Houston Half... I am exactly where He wanted me to be and it has not always been easy but in the end the sacrifice is so worth it. I look at those who have sacrificed in ways that seem so beyond hard but I see them living in joy, making life the best it can be, looking at the sacrifice as an opportunity to do better, lean on their faith. I am humbled.

We all have our battles, sacrifices whether they are now, 10 years ago, or in the future but we all have a choice. When we sacrifice we become aware. We see the mom struggling with her kids and wonder how can I help instead of giving the annoying look... we offer our help to the mom and dad of a child with Autism who just needs one night off instead of just feeling pity, we give people the benefit of the doubt, we have compassion, we forgive.

This is me finishing at Houston... a good 12 minutes behind my personal best but beyond happy!!! I also went way out of my comfort zone (not that this post or asking for money doesn't do that!) and crossed the finish line with my hands up... a good friend once told me to finish strong with your hands up high with a yaaahooo... I am pretty sure I said to myself yeah that will never happen... well that is me doing the hands up, finishing strong with a yaaahooooo!!! Same friend qualified for Boston that day.... that is a big yaaahooo!

40 days to go... so far our group has raised 45,000 Pounds that is just about $72,000 dollars for the National Autistic Society! Amazing.... my page has raised $2100.00 alone!! I am only 266 Pounds ($425.00) away from my goal! Help me finish this strong!!!!! I know I sound repetitive but I can not say enough to everyone who has donated, sent positive notes, prayed and inspired me along the way!!! It absolutely warms my heart!

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/MichelleKennett